It’s Not Just Weather, Jews Control Earthquakes, Too!

According to a Jordanian columnist, Jewish powers aren’t just limited to weather control; Jews can also cause earthquakes!Kamal Zakarneh, a columnist for the Jordanian daily Al-Dustour, accused Israelis of causing the earthquakes that shook the Al-Aqsa mosque in the attempt “to Judaize Jerusalem.” He went on to explain that Jews are known for “blaming nature” for natural disasters.

He’s not wrong to fear earthquakery. That mosque was destroyed by an earthquake in 746 and had to be rebuilt in 754. And Jews were around in 746. Soooooo we know who did it.

A minor flaw in his logic is that Jews are already the majority in Jerusalem, and Jerusalem is the capital of Israel, so Jews have already “Judaized” Jerusalem and there is no need to throw earthquakes at their own city. But because the rest of his logic is so harmonious, I believe we can disregard this minutia.

Nasser Al-Lahham, chief editor of the Palestinian news agency Maan, has echoed this suspicion as common amongst his people. In an article entitled “Earthquake or Plot to Destroy Al-Aqsa?,” he writes: “Many people have stopped me in the street and asked me: ‘Is a devastating earthquake on the way, or is this a Zionist plot to destroy Al-Aqsa?'”

According to American government scientists, untrusted sources, earthquakes are caused by nature. But we already know that the Americans are wrong about their “science.” Recall that just recently, an Iranian official discovered that the drought that Iran was experiencing in the Middle East was in fact caused by Jewish weather theft. “We are facing the issue of cloud and snow theft,” the suspicious man advised.

As Americans, we are only now begging to learn the real cause of our natural disasters. Apparently, Jews have had their eyes on California all of this time. Who knew?